Tomorrow

Is the day everything from ikea is delivered to my new dwelling space as well as my frantic rush to find a mover to move my mattress from NDG to De Loirmier. Everything has been so hectic of late and i'm consistently tired supremely early at night while the cold supresses my urges.

Anyways, who knew that milla jovovich made music. not me!

i'm so so excited to build furniture, place my lamps, and finally have an adult bedroom complete with a sloped back corner chair with large arms for reading. with that said, since i'll be living next to bridge and hopefully trekking to the local gym on an almost daily basis i should be a bit of an extrovert yet again. i'll finally have room to do my own reading, my own writing, and get a grip on this individual i've become.

i'm looking forward to the summer, just so i can get a bike out and enjoy the parks and have lunch in park lafontaine with a bottle of wine and a novel at my side.

i'll probably be having a small housewarming so look forward to that.

Aa long as we get out alive

I'm becoming elderly. i mean it. My knuckles are sore from that guitar hero phase we all went through and i can barely hold my alcohol. in fact the slightest toxin in my body is often turned into a strange and exciting adventure as it is metabolized and turned into an ill indicator of any part of me.

I'm headed out to drink wine tonight, i haven't been out since last week mainly because i fall asleep early and work hard, or hardly work, during the day but i keep usual hours, not my sadistic days without sleeping before. I've found this responsible side far more fascinating than anything else but it also makes me worry about the turn around our economy is taking. it makes me significantly upset that the Canadian economy relies so heavily on that of our bullying neighbour below who befuddled the whole world up. i wish these arbitrary numbers made sense to me. i lack the knowledge to understand how our economy will be better by 2010 if we continue to lay off thousands of workers who can no longer contribute to a growing and eventually prosperous economy. If someone could explain it to me i'd be more than thankful. I just dont understand how stimulating the economy requires so much money but their still firing people.

I also find it ridiculous that they're building new roadways when these new jobs could be spent building a magrail across the country or better public transport and more workers to plant trees, man recycle and compost trucks, and aid communities to be green as opposed to laying down cement and offering more space to the already disputed air polluters that are our gasoline engines. rehire your workers to build electric cars and sell them. destroy and recycle all the useless vehicles collecting dust and turn them into houses or raw resources. this buy buy buy mentallity is disgusting(and i'm so much a part of it.)

i speak with new individuals everyday who are optimistic about the human race turning around and making proper decisions but i am a pessemist and often reply to their conversations with, "i think we've overstayed are welcome. the earth already shrugs as off occasionally."

they better do something quick...

mp3
i will lay you down by lanters on the lake.
http://www.box.net/shared/mq4fsd0d59

in personal bullshit. i've grown a strange call for closeness. it's vague but something is different.

There is Too Much

There is too much going on in my life right now. i'm almost always busy or tired from being busy due to work, dinner plans, meetings, lunches, organizing plans, and generally trying my best to be responsible.

This post is going to symbolize some of the ridiculous events in my life simply by using a cartoon that is probably equally ridiculous.

the big news is that i will be living on ontario and de loirmier within the next 10 days if i can just figure out how to move my bed and my friend's van actually fits it. my migraine is killing me, i'll update this again once i have a chance to find new music, movies, and dinner spots very soon.

oh the cartoon is disney, 1943.

sickening

On my way to dinner at Sala Rossa i stumbled upon a young woman in great distress. her face was crimson with the evidence of assault and her shaking body proved that she needed someone, anyone, to be near her. on a busy street in an affluent neighbourhood one doesn't expect to find a girl around their same age thrown into a vehicle for an iphone. i sat with her till an ambulance came and offered to company for ambulance ride, the hospital, and whatever else she needed as i know how frightening it is to be left alone in those kinds of situations. i spoke to the police, the paramedics, and finally itzel over the phone explaining the tragedy of why i would be late for dinner.

I don't understand how such a thing happens and the majority of people just turn a blind eye or move on ahead. the street is always bust at 8pm, always, anyone could have stopped them or should have helped the girl immediatly. This diffusion of responsibility lead to the death of Kitty Genovese and i thought we had all learned a lesson by now. Following this incident i was approached by a young missionary within the metro to "save my soul," or ask me if i had "heard of Jesus Christ." I try and stay out of religious debates because i know many of my friends find strength in their beliefs where as i.. find strength in my disbelief. Anyways, i listened compassionately to his story and his goals in life and complimented him on his ability to hold so much faith and find so much love that he wants to share it. I Then ended that with, "i, unfortunately for you do not believe."
To which he replied inquisitevely and boundary pushingly so with a, "Why's that?"
"Because of thing i just witnessed and the catastrophes that our televised daily. It's personal... have a great holiday"

The night ended with a delicious bottle of moderately priced vino blanco and an assortment of Tapas beore the night was finished.

New years was a complete and utter mess. in the best of ways. i met so many strangers and yet knew many people at the same time to have a homey feeling at a fairly large party, the next day however lead me to believe i was dying as i had not felt that drained in 2 years. i was incapable of standing, walking, breathing, and eating only complicated matters.

Places to Entertain One's self(Reviews)

Within this post
Reviews of "THE FALL"
Sala Rossa (for Eats)
Distillerie
Juicy Lotus
Hooka Lounge

Waking up at 6am to only be met with a a rather sharp and embarrassing fall during the slippery madness that was this city was the perfect way to sum up my time since i have not been contributing to this blog.



The word embarrassing is mildly misleading. As if anyone is walking on Oxford besides me. This city might as well be abandoned whenever i head to work. The only other employees are at other cafes and making bagels at St Viateur nearby. The sound of vacuums and loud music sometimes echoes down the street, like bungee chords tethering me to an awakened state. those of us who work early shifts live a very different life than the typical worker of my age. Our partying has to come at a well calculated and manipulated expenditure of energy as opposed to the power of impulse. It's fairly alien, the responsibility i've assumed on myself. my absolute fixation on control, the way my body no longer writhes at all times to move, to touch, to meet, to harpoon and sink ships. my body has become a port, leaning itself out as the definition on all parts of my body is starting to show through sweaters and high collared peacoats. my skin has taken on an almost luminescent quality and my lips no longer dry out with the wind but are growing to darker and darker shades of crimson red as my teeth are getting pearly white once again.

So much has happened, yet so little in the past while. my nights have consisted of randomness beyond random. the coincidences are once again ravaging my calculated brain as the only bar i found on christmas eve happened to have two hasidic jews on television as my jewish friend and i drove up realizing that this is the bar we walked home from 3 years ago and became close because. The night of christmas i found myself in a crowded Korova's sitting quietly on a couch professing my love to a blonde women at one point and at other's chatting up old friends only to leave me sick to my stomach and the quick need to dissappear like i often do.

Comparitively to this time last year i am a shining example of young responsibility and adulthood as opposed to a compulsive need to be out and about every night. The only nights that remind me of last year, as vague as the memories have become, are the sudden bouts of over indulgence on alcohol. the memories sometimes seep into view like a dirty mist, just beyond the sight line are the words and the feelings of vacancy but they evaporate instead of blind, they dissipate instead of coagulate. As itzel and i drank at distillerie i did not watch my intake properly and found myself rather impaired and still drunk upon arriving at work at 7:30am. We also saw "The Day The Earth Stood Still" before smoking 7ieme Ciel at Hooka Lounge on Saint denis bobbing our heads to "TV on the Radio," "Ratatat," and the "Stills" while discussing a variety of topics. i'm suprisingly candid with her, no bullshit, just straight up talk from serious to childish. If anyone hasn't been to Hooka Lounge they should make a point of going. in fact it's wonderfully homey with a fireplace and a variety of different seating arrangments from cute crevices on wooden benches, to side by side couches and day beds next to the fireplace with a place for your tea, your booze, and of course your shisha. the crowd is fairly hip but you won't find obnoxious in your face jocks or rambling giants with their arms in your way. it's darkly lit and well decorated to take you away from the city and into a dark corner of a jungle, or to whimsical realm that is very much needed in this weather.

My love affair with distillerie is still as strong as it's ever been. i've yet to have a bad night there and often go with only a single other friend and manage to spend just the right amount of time before feeling antsy whilst laughing at the sometimes gross you out crowd, or the over the top loudness of some large group that really has no place to be there. the music is always fun to reminice over while ordering a large drink, or even a half size. if you're feeling especially extravagant they even offer beverages in large flute glasses, adorable and classy.

Last night i ventured to au vivre for dinner only to find it closed but managed ot think on my feet while in a large windstorm. the windstorm even managed to rip the door of java u off of it's hinges the other day at the very end of my shift as i laughed at my exhaustion and the ridiculousness of spring temperatures, tornadoe like winds, and a mini cyclone to an already hectically hungover day. But i digress, running across the street i mounted the stairs to the extravagantly theatrical "Sala Rossa" for dinner. AS i have only ever spent the evening engaged to music in their grand concert hall i was in for a pleasant surprise with my fried tofu sandwich as my family ordered traditional spanish dishes. I've fallen in love with the "Godfather." No, not the film but the simply made sipping drink on the rocks. It's half jameson, half amaretto as to knock the sweetness of the amaretto to a tolerable level. My dinner was superb, the music was off kilter and engaging, and the place filled up quickly with others. People sat around playing cards and the high ceilings lead to a large echoe of conversations across the great room. The waiters are extremely engaging and polite with the surface being somewhat slow, but simply because of the length it takes to make some dishes. the company was enjoyable, the vibe was lowkey, and my mind was able to find a little bit of peace.

I also suggest everyone watch "The Fall," because you'll be in for an extremely rich visual treat that only that movie can contain. It is a bewitching fairy tell for adults, full of humour, period pieces, and more importantly strong imagination and great themes . The acting is superb but takes a backseat to the swampingly enticing visuals and inventive techniques used to show off the 4 year filming process across 16 countries.

As for new years, feel free to call me. as of now i have a gazillion plans but plan on ending up at the neon after party by the end of it all. i will also be at a studio party and who knows where else. the good times are killing me.

Finally,
For the last time, if you are into organic, vegetarian, or vegan food please make the effort to stop by Juicy Lotus located on Monkland. It's run by Jesse, the sweetest women in the world and all of the employees are beyond personable. The food is all made ready to go with a great selection of 50% off goodies made the day before and juices, waters, and beverages found rarely anywhere else. She makes ridiculously amazing peanut sauce, putting the famous 2 dollar noodle to shame, as well as an amazing vegan meat loaf. actually everything is amazing. she brings a smile to my face and upon mentioning her to my owner and the offer of employmet at one point he said, "ill kill her, no one takes you."

bahaha

Music
SEcret Rooms by Grand Ronde. It's a full album. Feel free to hypem them. They have a great style similar to the stills or the strokes but great for winter.

Pretty simple..

I'm going to ignore writing anything meaningful or strong in the post.

I recently viewed "The Diving Bell and The Butterfly," and i think it was not overexposed at all. within the first few minutes it was ridiculously easy to tell that you are indeed viewing something special, unique, and groundbreaking. It is an insane illustration of just what good cinematography and editing can do to saturate the viewer in a film. I was enthralled by the use of comedy, blurring techniques, and even vague views of the protagonist before he is finally revealed. The film leaves you disoriented, hopeful, and even brings laughter out of the deepest depths of your soul even through the bleakest moments. Throughout the movie i found myself wrapped in a large quilt and dealing with a nausea brought to me through the first person perspective and at sometimes felt the characters sheer amount of awkwardness pervade my skin. I recommend everyone watch it.

"A fly lands on my face. I wriggle my head to dislodge it. The fly sticks on tight. Olympic Wrestling has nothing on this."

In the comedy section i strongly recommend everyone should watch Hamlet 2, nowhere as funny as pineapple express but it certainly stands on it's own two feet, if only for some brilliant one liners and great actors.


Music for the night
Jonezetta's New Album.

indie rock at it's finest...

death of the sidekick

Here it goes,
i have not been this happy in over 2 years. It has taken me a full on year to conquer myself again as opposed to being a side-kick or the proverbial dumb friend who sometimes talks. I was shackled to an idea and then i was shackled to a friend with a persona placed upon me that was by no means me. i was holed up and shelled in pretending i was less than what i am, completely and utterly sacrificing myself, my promise, for a lowdown unenthusiastic side-liner. It was as if i've been sitting on the bench for 2 years at all the best games but never got to run a play, never scored a goal, or carried the ball past the red zone.

It's the holidays and for once it doesn't feel like them in the least. i'm neither depressed, lonely, or even worried (apparently i should be?) about my social interactions with people. i've met a constant influx of people and enjoy the free gifts given to me through pedestrians and people seeing me at my best. every day i lose a little more weight, a little more of the pathetic excuse for a human i was, and i lose more shackles and chains. my skin is becoming more clear and my stride has become stronger with eyes like daggers and words tumbling out as kisses and embraces are welcomed.

sometimes i write about how we should all look back at the giant rivers of our lives, of the way every different person that lives inside of us is a stream that flows into a tributary and mixes to form the sediment of who we are today. instead, at this point of time in the year, i say we should look forward. WE should look past the current economic crisis, the global recession, and the unsure political footing of our neighbours. we should look at what we most want for ourselves because being selfish is the only way most of us live these days but i believe we should try and do more for those less fortunate or even give a smile or a polite compliment to a stranger.

i am not by any means becoming more human. in fact my emotions are shedding constantly and i'm left with nothing but an utter weightlessness. i am left to float as a cloud to whatever takes me and along the jetstream of life with the hollowness inside of me that people find the need to talk to because it's so easy to throw your words into a hole as opposed to a wall. my outside is warm but my innerdepths are frosty like the weather and refined. i only desire art and film. i desire literature and poetry and i had denied my need for so long to fit into their social strata. i was so much more before all of us this, and i am becoming so much more once again.

these last few days have been utterly insane and i am so incredibly elated by the sanctuary that is myself. the walls that make up my life are so very clear and i have stopped being mousy and sacrificing bits and pieces of myself because i am supposed to be funny, or easy to deal with, or the butt of a joke.

happy holidays... i confused all the jewish people at my work. they all decided i was catholic, or christian, but i smiled and said "hornstein" and their look of disbelief was almost tragic. Then i said, "but in actuality i'm an atheist, i don't live for heaven." It's true. i also don't want to die peacefully in a bed, too tired to stand up and needing the aid of a walker when i look back at my exploits. instead i wish to die through a vicarious act, a daredevilish stunt, or fighting for something....


"The only disease you ever had was cholera"
"No mama, you confuse cholera for love."

Song,
none
ill post one later.