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it's 3:04 am and i've just stumbled into my bed relinquishing my need for clothes. today i plan on making seitan cutlets, fake cheese sauce, macaroni and cheese, and possibly more hummus as well as an outting to view "Watchmen" with my father. my treat.



i shall go to bed listening to "the fountain soundtrack"

i can't get these images out of my head.

grocery shopping at 2am

I would like to stress how insanely awkward one feels walking down ontario street with groceries at 2:30am. no scratch that, jogging down the street for fear of his lips absolutely icing over and falling off. mine are big enough that the freeze over is indeed a constant hazard and a warranted worry. how very worth it to make a delicious tofu scramble in the morning with bbq potatoes and being up early enough to watch Ari get high on shrooms before going to work. Entourage definetly keeps me less depressed and a little bit more elated compared to the reality of today.

Franck and i bought 100 dollars worth of deliciousness yesterday and we've since made home made pita chips and garlic hummus that have all been eaten and now i am thinking about the excitement to be had whilst creating seitan cutlets, cheezey sauce, and tofu florentines this weekend. Another delicious treat will be our cous cous tomato and caper mixture and i hope everything goes well.

watchmen at 3:40 tomorrow tickets bouuught

A-trak is releasing his mix tape at the end of the month and as i'm sure anyone who knows me knows that a-trak and i have a long history of josh taking off his shirt and sweating so very much to any mix of his being played. i've fucked to him, danced to him, fell over to him, and purely made a fool out of myself to him even after being dissapointed by his live sets....

but i don't care, his mixes destroy me even if i barely dance anymore.

i bought 320 dollars worth of clothing today, have decided to grow my hair as long as possible without looking disgusting and wearing it back and am headed out to officiel and possibly saphs.

hmmm, i really want another tattooo.

well now

I've finished all the cleaning in the house that's to be done today and back onto reading and watching documentaries that just tend to depress me more and more. However, the firehouse has opened twice across the street and for the third time today i am hearing sirens. I believe that living on this corner of Ontario offers a great perspective on life. it's all about crashing into something else.

As i get angrier and angrier with each passing day at the ridiculous ideas of government and mainly it's horrible handling of funds in the United States i don't really know what to do rather than cook and work out because it would appear to me the only thing i have control over is my body and not of financial decisions or even where my money ends up. if i lived in the United States right now i would be fiendishly upset at the bail out and even more upset with what appears to be an overwhelming sense "someone else needs to fix it," mentality.

For The United States of America debt is money and without debt there would be no money. how absolutely paradoxically ridiculous is that. i don't understand the way politicians and economists think and i'm not too sure i want to. i want to live my life away from this repetitive notion and i believe a country with so much power in the world should be questionned by the rest of the world on most decisions. i feel as a citizen of earth i deserve more freedom and i despise the fact that people think their "breakthroughs" are anything but selfish.....

Wow technology... what a fucking breakthrough that is.

Parlor Tricks

It's finally my day off and that always means its my day to do laundry, clean my room, wipe down the kitchen, and probably sweep the entire place. The music generally varies but today it seems i shall be doing these chores to the wonderful flows of kid koala, the mystery jets, thievery corporation, nightmares on wax, tosca, and whatever else additives i push in throughout the day.

The business with opening a restaurant or cafe has slowed down a bit as our first location has been sold and i haven't had time to speak with my investor simply from an overload of work and the sheer amounts of exhaustion that persist within my body on a daily basis. That's not to say i'm not overwhelmingly healthy, i'm just overworked.

I've finally started cooking once again and what was once a rare event is sure to become a very popular and often occurring trick i'll play. In 2 back to back days i had constructed my very first whole wheat lasagna filled with tofu ricotta, steamed spinach, and sauced up with a caramelized onion marinara sauce i whipped up while franck read Dawkin's "The God Delusion." The day before i made bbq sauce from scratch and substituted collard leaves for swiss chard leaves and fabricated delicious wraps filled with beans and mushrooms with a side of fries. This weekend i suspect i will be making a tofu florentine or greek benedict simply because breakfast is one of the most wonderful meals to ever grace humanity.

I suggest everyone take a gander at the bohemian grove online to be truly creeped out and laugh as well. Nothing like President's and bankers sacrificing effigies of babies every year to really make you laugh at how ridiculous our society is.

Also, i know i don't believe in spiritual forces at work but i do believe in energy as that's all we are so let's use our collective energy to force this cold out of montreal. I can't deal. i'm pondering sepuku or building my own sacrificial alter on the patio out front. For real.

The music today is that i suggest everyone listens to 21 by the mystery jets or anything by the fruit bats.

ps.
Azeda Booth's "In Flesh Tones" is an interesting album as well.

Clean Slate

I can't even properly describe or express the sincere amount of comfort i have been experiencing recently. i understood that i wanted to wipe away what was left of myself and start anew, fresh, but in the same city and within some of the constraints. i have grown and i'm incredibly grateful for the fortunate living situation i find myself in.

it is not nearly as dysfunctional as my stay at d'hibernia. i have decided to wipe that place from my memory and most of the incidents or faces that go along with that no longer register. i am at my first real place and making a strong effort, even if it seems effortless, to be a wonderful and easy roommate. we cook for each other, share groceries, watch documentaries and then make popcorn. it is a godsend and within these walls i look forward to my lavish bed and angled yet softly lighted bedroom. the bed is made every morning, i fold the light green top sheets on top of a duvet and now an old native american crafted woolent blanket to reveal it's deep purple under belly to match the dark wood that has minimistacally framed my bed. the bed side tables act as an extension to it's frame and hold my music that is almost constantly playing when a documentary isn't being streamed. it's so very exciting to live with someone who shares my eating habits and even spiritual, or lack there of, beliefs. this weekend has been a true recharge to a work load and knowing i have such a wonderful place to come back to makes the after parties and outtings even more enjoyable. the stays at distillerie until befriending the bar staff and enjoying speciality drinks made for us as opposed to just being another face and the satisfaction of speaking to everyone within a room that deserves it and finding interesting niches to pick and prod away.

the new josh just needs to finish is body upgrade and it's over.

Tomorrow

Is the day everything from ikea is delivered to my new dwelling space as well as my frantic rush to find a mover to move my mattress from NDG to De Loirmier. Everything has been so hectic of late and i'm consistently tired supremely early at night while the cold supresses my urges.

Anyways, who knew that milla jovovich made music. not me!

i'm so so excited to build furniture, place my lamps, and finally have an adult bedroom complete with a sloped back corner chair with large arms for reading. with that said, since i'll be living next to bridge and hopefully trekking to the local gym on an almost daily basis i should be a bit of an extrovert yet again. i'll finally have room to do my own reading, my own writing, and get a grip on this individual i've become.

i'm looking forward to the summer, just so i can get a bike out and enjoy the parks and have lunch in park lafontaine with a bottle of wine and a novel at my side.

i'll probably be having a small housewarming so look forward to that.

Aa long as we get out alive

I'm becoming elderly. i mean it. My knuckles are sore from that guitar hero phase we all went through and i can barely hold my alcohol. in fact the slightest toxin in my body is often turned into a strange and exciting adventure as it is metabolized and turned into an ill indicator of any part of me.

I'm headed out to drink wine tonight, i haven't been out since last week mainly because i fall asleep early and work hard, or hardly work, during the day but i keep usual hours, not my sadistic days without sleeping before. I've found this responsible side far more fascinating than anything else but it also makes me worry about the turn around our economy is taking. it makes me significantly upset that the Canadian economy relies so heavily on that of our bullying neighbour below who befuddled the whole world up. i wish these arbitrary numbers made sense to me. i lack the knowledge to understand how our economy will be better by 2010 if we continue to lay off thousands of workers who can no longer contribute to a growing and eventually prosperous economy. If someone could explain it to me i'd be more than thankful. I just dont understand how stimulating the economy requires so much money but their still firing people.

I also find it ridiculous that they're building new roadways when these new jobs could be spent building a magrail across the country or better public transport and more workers to plant trees, man recycle and compost trucks, and aid communities to be green as opposed to laying down cement and offering more space to the already disputed air polluters that are our gasoline engines. rehire your workers to build electric cars and sell them. destroy and recycle all the useless vehicles collecting dust and turn them into houses or raw resources. this buy buy buy mentallity is disgusting(and i'm so much a part of it.)

i speak with new individuals everyday who are optimistic about the human race turning around and making proper decisions but i am a pessemist and often reply to their conversations with, "i think we've overstayed are welcome. the earth already shrugs as off occasionally."

they better do something quick...

mp3
i will lay you down by lanters on the lake.
http://www.box.net/shared/mq4fsd0d59

in personal bullshit. i've grown a strange call for closeness. it's vague but something is different.