Saturday, July 11, 2009

Directionless motion.

In 3 weeks time my right arm will be almost completely covered in art. There will only be a small portion of my arm lacking nautical flair and after 2 years i'll have another chapter opened and closed on my arm. Some sort of distinguishing memory erased and philosophy uncovered.

There's a storm outside. It's tenacious, it's proud and full of glory. It flashes like a nightclub with loud beats and bass lines and it speaks to me of living in the south and of being a child. I'm getting older and i can feel it. i can feel it grasping at my veins and pulling on the tissues of my muscles and the fibers of eyes. I can feel this substantial craving to crave as Nietzche once wrote and i'm having a harder time putting it down. The constant fight against genetics to remain fit, get slimmer, turn into dense mass and fight against the constrains of my body. To view my body as an opponent rather than an ally has long since been a staple in my psychology. My endorphins surge through my brain and cause pins and needles and sweet comfortable numbness across my appendages. i writhe and put my palm to my forehead and breath deep. it feels like fucking, it feels like pulsating destruction and passion that my body has lacked for a long time.

See i'm not passionate about much anything. I fight for the rights of the enviroment and am baffled by people telling me "i know your trying to save the enviroment but..." when they don't realize i'm trying to save us even though i don't think we're much worth it anymore. I have skewed views on how to fix things, i have heartless thoughts concocted and am often told my viewpoints are entertaining if not staggeringly unsympathetic. See, i don't have sympathy for fuck-ups. I've been a fuck-up and there's always a way out and our society is a giant and ungaingly tumour upon this planet.

I don't feel through interactions with people but i certainly feel through novels and literature. i read and gasp and laugh out loud. i take deep breaths and sling my head back at points being made in books by fictional characters or real truth based seekers. i lash out with my mind and pivot my body and i work out my frustrations through the throws of pumping iron and running to sweat out the filth and the anger. I keep my beast at bay and i keep my longing to long deep locked away with pills and management.

Things are different for me, things are darker for me. they may not seem so but they certainly are and i can't help but feel the ominous throws of mother nature do well to compare. i smile and grin and flirt but i'm so uninterested in it all. If someone could pull me back from my dark sea i'd be thoroughly impressed and intoxicated but i don't have the capacity.

Spoon- Me and the Bean

Monday, May 11, 2009

Been Gone

Been a busy bee of late and not fairly busy in other ways. I tend to be overly exhausted to a degree that some may call handicapping. It could be the long hours but i'll argue it has more to do with the amount of physical assertion i've been outputting recently. I've missed the gym for 3 days for reasons such as being so incredibly exhausted by 7pm that i had passed out and did not wake until work the next day.

I've also been fairly social of late, more so than in recent times which include brunches, outtings, and dinnertime treats. The last of which tends to be appease my need for conversation but a terrace in the summer at lunch time in montreal is hard to beat. i don't think i can compare many things to the glam of parc lafontaine or duluth and St Denis bustling drunken behaviour on a friday afternoon with all the adults cradling their wine to their forearms. It breathes like the city ceases to breath throughout the winter. The suspension of exhales and inhales and the uncontrollable throb of the sun's call and the skies deep blue of an almost idealic sea fabricate a lovely carefree existence.

I've been on some fairly entertaining adventures such as the mishap that followed the creation of a Californian Pasta Dish involving a slice off finger and being locked out of my apartment for 2 days as well as having a friend locked out by haphazardly leaving her keys in my house. The gym is an adventure on it's own. It's amazing to think of your own body as the enemy, as the competition, and as the bitterest opponent of them all. I've pushed myself to some fairly large extremes with muscles wincing and lungs gasping for breath. i've forced more out of my body than it's had to deal with for a while. it's getting tuned up, derusted, fortified, and a new paint scheme and i am fairly happy with the results so far and can't wait for the results to improve. I also tend to bike 25km when it's not raining as a commute and that leads to my overall stamina improving. i hope to run in the Underground Marathon this year as a testament to endurance.

I've also been asked to make a breakfast menu for a vegan vegetarian place on monkland and am currently devising plans and ways of cooking without a stove top, har har har.

Tomorrow i see about getting a brand new flatscreen television with a home theater for franck and i's living room as well as plan on reading more of the apparently true story entitled "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" which i believe to have some splotches of colourings that weren't necessarily happenings.

There will be no music post however i suggest people pick up and read the book, "Risk." It's a tad repetetive with statistics but certainly does a fair job of explaining and highlighting how incapable we are as people to handle risks objectively in today's society due to marketing, media, and basic psychology.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Vegan Ice Cream Machine

My house is full of machines and i will be baking my own bread from now on as well. Franck and i are pretty sure we could live in a tiny house in the woods and be okay at this point.

I would also like to state that i have no idea how i had any fun at those dance parties. The crowd must have been different because simply it looks rather disgusting these days and hurts the old ears.


Monday, March 16, 2009

Missed Kid Koala

missed kid koala, took sleeping pill.

laugh at this.

Friday, March 13, 2009


To the girl in the yellow running on the cross trainer next to me

You were hypnotic and it was hard to keep my eyes off of you as we ended up next to each oher for the rest of my 2 hour work out.

Missed connection.

Oh and my night just ceased to happen. however i made great chickpea cutlets and sundried tomato dipping sauce for franck and i tonight. i'm going to put on philadelphia, tear up a little at tom hanks, and run off to sleep, work, gym.

STrike that..

chez serge tt iiiiis

Monday, March 9, 2009

can't sleep

so here's a fun trailer

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Dinosaurs, Vampires, Snakes, and dirty tricks.

Last night was a little bit too much for me. I think i realized it was going to be too much when i was cornered by 2 different strangers plowing into my life story while asking my age and clearly doing an absolutely horrible job of flirting with me. Indeed i could not deal with the abrasive voices of strangers sung loudly over the music so the shrill voices simply vibrated my cranium instead of conveying any sense of communication. I don't care how slippery your tongue is, in a bar you all sound like idiots, including me, with the constant yell conversation. I suppose that's what you get for standing against the wall of a bar with a drink in your hand.

However the night turned out swell as i ended up very randomly at a birthday party for people i did not know yet had a connection too. It turned out the apartment was that of a new friend's boyfriend and it made me feel a little less intrusive that way. the party ended up winding down at 7am after the cops came but was complete with an improv photoshoot as well as tons of dancing. i thank max for the heads up and dealing with my idiot phone calls.

It's been a lot of pictures lately, whether it's from the friendattack or nightlife magazine it seems josh is back in the eye of a lens i suppose. maybe it's a good thing? it could be a bad thing too. My blood is bubbling with the warmth and i'm not quite sure what to do about it and the vampire comments are flooding back. It's conceivable that i look somewhat vampiric without the rabies or horrible clothing but it's a little too much at this point. At this point i should look like an emalgamation of Ashton Kutcher, Pete Wentz, and random stereotypical vampire of the week boy. in which case i think i would look severely disabled and would probably never show my face in public again.

Tonight i plan on taking it very easy as i believe i may have a slight cold and plan on reading and watching italian cinema as well as "vicky cristina barcelona," if i can stay awake long enough. I'm proud that my tofu florentine turned out well, it's such a great thing to wake up too however having every single light on the stove blaring red at you is a tad overwhelming and frightening at first. I have never had that much going on in a kitchen at once. It was an hour well spent though.

I suggest everyone listen to Thom Yorke's new solo album. i just can't get enough and the friendly fires. Hypem that shit as usual because there will be no links for today.