Saturday, July 11, 2009

Directionless motion.

In 3 weeks time my right arm will be almost completely covered in art. There will only be a small portion of my arm lacking nautical flair and after 2 years i'll have another chapter opened and closed on my arm. Some sort of distinguishing memory erased and philosophy uncovered.

There's a storm outside. It's tenacious, it's proud and full of glory. It flashes like a nightclub with loud beats and bass lines and it speaks to me of living in the south and of being a child. I'm getting older and i can feel it. i can feel it grasping at my veins and pulling on the tissues of my muscles and the fibers of eyes. I can feel this substantial craving to crave as Nietzche once wrote and i'm having a harder time putting it down. The constant fight against genetics to remain fit, get slimmer, turn into dense mass and fight against the constrains of my body. To view my body as an opponent rather than an ally has long since been a staple in my psychology. My endorphins surge through my brain and cause pins and needles and sweet comfortable numbness across my appendages. i writhe and put my palm to my forehead and breath deep. it feels like fucking, it feels like pulsating destruction and passion that my body has lacked for a long time.

See i'm not passionate about much anything. I fight for the rights of the enviroment and am baffled by people telling me "i know your trying to save the enviroment but..." when they don't realize i'm trying to save us even though i don't think we're much worth it anymore. I have skewed views on how to fix things, i have heartless thoughts concocted and am often told my viewpoints are entertaining if not staggeringly unsympathetic. See, i don't have sympathy for fuck-ups. I've been a fuck-up and there's always a way out and our society is a giant and ungaingly tumour upon this planet.

I don't feel through interactions with people but i certainly feel through novels and literature. i read and gasp and laugh out loud. i take deep breaths and sling my head back at points being made in books by fictional characters or real truth based seekers. i lash out with my mind and pivot my body and i work out my frustrations through the throws of pumping iron and running to sweat out the filth and the anger. I keep my beast at bay and i keep my longing to long deep locked away with pills and management.

Things are different for me, things are darker for me. they may not seem so but they certainly are and i can't help but feel the ominous throws of mother nature do well to compare. i smile and grin and flirt but i'm so uninterested in it all. If someone could pull me back from my dark sea i'd be thoroughly impressed and intoxicated but i don't have the capacity.

So
Spoon- Me and the Bean

http://brad.bothsidesofthemouth.com/July/Spoon-Me%20and%20the%20Bean.mp3

Monday, May 11, 2009

Been Gone

Been a busy bee of late and not fairly busy in other ways. I tend to be overly exhausted to a degree that some may call handicapping. It could be the long hours but i'll argue it has more to do with the amount of physical assertion i've been outputting recently. I've missed the gym for 3 days for reasons such as being so incredibly exhausted by 7pm that i had passed out and did not wake until work the next day.

I've also been fairly social of late, more so than in recent times which include brunches, outtings, and dinnertime treats. The last of which tends to be appease my need for conversation but a terrace in the summer at lunch time in montreal is hard to beat. i don't think i can compare many things to the glam of parc lafontaine or duluth and St Denis bustling drunken behaviour on a friday afternoon with all the adults cradling their wine to their forearms. It breathes like the city ceases to breath throughout the winter. The suspension of exhales and inhales and the uncontrollable throb of the sun's call and the skies deep blue of an almost idealic sea fabricate a lovely carefree existence.

I've been on some fairly entertaining adventures such as the mishap that followed the creation of a Californian Pasta Dish involving a slice off finger and being locked out of my apartment for 2 days as well as having a friend locked out by haphazardly leaving her keys in my house. The gym is an adventure on it's own. It's amazing to think of your own body as the enemy, as the competition, and as the bitterest opponent of them all. I've pushed myself to some fairly large extremes with muscles wincing and lungs gasping for breath. i've forced more out of my body than it's had to deal with for a while. it's getting tuned up, derusted, fortified, and a new paint scheme and i am fairly happy with the results so far and can't wait for the results to improve. I also tend to bike 25km when it's not raining as a commute and that leads to my overall stamina improving. i hope to run in the Underground Marathon this year as a testament to endurance.

I've also been asked to make a breakfast menu for a vegan vegetarian place on monkland and am currently devising plans and ways of cooking without a stove top, har har har.

Tomorrow i see about getting a brand new flatscreen television with a home theater for franck and i's living room as well as plan on reading more of the apparently true story entitled "Confessions of an Economic Hitman" which i believe to have some splotches of colourings that weren't necessarily happenings.

There will be no music post however i suggest people pick up and read the book, "Risk." It's a tad repetetive with statistics but certainly does a fair job of explaining and highlighting how incapable we are as people to handle risks objectively in today's society due to marketing, media, and basic psychology.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Vegan Ice Cream Machine

My house is full of machines and i will be baking my own bread from now on as well. Franck and i are pretty sure we could live in a tiny house in the woods and be okay at this point.

I would also like to state that i have no idea how i had any fun at those dance parties. The crowd must have been different because simply it looks rather disgusting these days and hurts the old ears.

Tomorrow,

Monday, March 16, 2009

Missed Kid Koala

missed kid koala, took sleeping pill.

laugh at this.
http://chud.com/articles/articles/18531/1/WATCH-THIS-NOW-JAPANESE-SPIDER-MAN/Page1.html

Friday, March 13, 2009

Falling

To the girl in the yellow running on the cross trainer next to me

You were hypnotic and it was hard to keep my eyes off of you as we ended up next to each oher for the rest of my 2 hour work out.

Missed connection.

Oh and my night just ceased to happen. however i made great chickpea cutlets and sundried tomato dipping sauce for franck and i tonight. i'm going to put on philadelphia, tear up a little at tom hanks, and run off to sleep, work, gym.

STrike that..

chez serge tt iiiiis

Monday, March 9, 2009

can't sleep

so here's a fun trailer

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Dinosaurs, Vampires, Snakes, and dirty tricks.


Last night was a little bit too much for me. I think i realized it was going to be too much when i was cornered by 2 different strangers plowing into my life story while asking my age and clearly doing an absolutely horrible job of flirting with me. Indeed i could not deal with the abrasive voices of strangers sung loudly over the music so the shrill voices simply vibrated my cranium instead of conveying any sense of communication. I don't care how slippery your tongue is, in a bar you all sound like idiots, including me, with the constant yell conversation. I suppose that's what you get for standing against the wall of a bar with a drink in your hand.

However the night turned out swell as i ended up very randomly at a birthday party for people i did not know yet had a connection too. It turned out the apartment was that of a new friend's boyfriend and it made me feel a little less intrusive that way. the party ended up winding down at 7am after the cops came but was complete with an improv photoshoot as well as tons of dancing. i thank max for the heads up and dealing with my idiot phone calls.

It's been a lot of pictures lately, whether it's from the friendattack or nightlife magazine it seems josh is back in the eye of a lens i suppose. maybe it's a good thing? it could be a bad thing too. My blood is bubbling with the warmth and i'm not quite sure what to do about it and the vampire comments are flooding back. It's conceivable that i look somewhat vampiric without the rabies or horrible clothing but it's a little too much at this point. At this point i should look like an emalgamation of Ashton Kutcher, Pete Wentz, and random stereotypical vampire of the week boy. in which case i think i would look severely disabled and would probably never show my face in public again.

Tonight i plan on taking it very easy as i believe i may have a slight cold and plan on reading and watching italian cinema as well as "vicky cristina barcelona," if i can stay awake long enough. I'm proud that my tofu florentine turned out well, it's such a great thing to wake up too however having every single light on the stove blaring red at you is a tad overwhelming and frightening at first. I have never had that much going on in a kitchen at once. It was an hour well spent though.

I suggest everyone listen to Thom Yorke's new solo album. i just can't get enough and the friendly fires. Hypem that shit as usual because there will be no links for today.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Home

it's 3:04 am and i've just stumbled into my bed relinquishing my need for clothes. today i plan on making seitan cutlets, fake cheese sauce, macaroni and cheese, and possibly more hummus as well as an outting to view "Watchmen" with my father. my treat.



i shall go to bed listening to "the fountain soundtrack"

i can't get these images out of my head.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

grocery shopping at 2am

I would like to stress how insanely awkward one feels walking down ontario street with groceries at 2:30am. no scratch that, jogging down the street for fear of his lips absolutely icing over and falling off. mine are big enough that the freeze over is indeed a constant hazard and a warranted worry. how very worth it to make a delicious tofu scramble in the morning with bbq potatoes and being up early enough to watch Ari get high on shrooms before going to work. Entourage definetly keeps me less depressed and a little bit more elated compared to the reality of today.

Franck and i bought 100 dollars worth of deliciousness yesterday and we've since made home made pita chips and garlic hummus that have all been eaten and now i am thinking about the excitement to be had whilst creating seitan cutlets, cheezey sauce, and tofu florentines this weekend. Another delicious treat will be our cous cous tomato and caper mixture and i hope everything goes well.

watchmen at 3:40 tomorrow tickets bouuught

A-trak is releasing his mix tape at the end of the month and as i'm sure anyone who knows me knows that a-trak and i have a long history of josh taking off his shirt and sweating so very much to any mix of his being played. i've fucked to him, danced to him, fell over to him, and purely made a fool out of myself to him even after being dissapointed by his live sets....

but i don't care, his mixes destroy me even if i barely dance anymore.

i bought 320 dollars worth of clothing today, have decided to grow my hair as long as possible without looking disgusting and wearing it back and am headed out to officiel and possibly saphs.

hmmm, i really want another tattooo.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

well now

I've finished all the cleaning in the house that's to be done today and back onto reading and watching documentaries that just tend to depress me more and more. However, the firehouse has opened twice across the street and for the third time today i am hearing sirens. I believe that living on this corner of Ontario offers a great perspective on life. it's all about crashing into something else.

As i get angrier and angrier with each passing day at the ridiculous ideas of government and mainly it's horrible handling of funds in the United States i don't really know what to do rather than cook and work out because it would appear to me the only thing i have control over is my body and not of financial decisions or even where my money ends up. if i lived in the United States right now i would be fiendishly upset at the bail out and even more upset with what appears to be an overwhelming sense "someone else needs to fix it," mentality.

For The United States of America debt is money and without debt there would be no money. how absolutely paradoxically ridiculous is that. i don't understand the way politicians and economists think and i'm not too sure i want to. i want to live my life away from this repetitive notion and i believe a country with so much power in the world should be questionned by the rest of the world on most decisions. i feel as a citizen of earth i deserve more freedom and i despise the fact that people think their "breakthroughs" are anything but selfish.....

Wow technology... what a fucking breakthrough that is.

Parlor Tricks

It's finally my day off and that always means its my day to do laundry, clean my room, wipe down the kitchen, and probably sweep the entire place. The music generally varies but today it seems i shall be doing these chores to the wonderful flows of kid koala, the mystery jets, thievery corporation, nightmares on wax, tosca, and whatever else additives i push in throughout the day.

The business with opening a restaurant or cafe has slowed down a bit as our first location has been sold and i haven't had time to speak with my investor simply from an overload of work and the sheer amounts of exhaustion that persist within my body on a daily basis. That's not to say i'm not overwhelmingly healthy, i'm just overworked.

I've finally started cooking once again and what was once a rare event is sure to become a very popular and often occurring trick i'll play. In 2 back to back days i had constructed my very first whole wheat lasagna filled with tofu ricotta, steamed spinach, and sauced up with a caramelized onion marinara sauce i whipped up while franck read Dawkin's "The God Delusion." The day before i made bbq sauce from scratch and substituted collard leaves for swiss chard leaves and fabricated delicious wraps filled with beans and mushrooms with a side of fries. This weekend i suspect i will be making a tofu florentine or greek benedict simply because breakfast is one of the most wonderful meals to ever grace humanity.

I suggest everyone take a gander at the bohemian grove online to be truly creeped out and laugh as well. Nothing like President's and bankers sacrificing effigies of babies every year to really make you laugh at how ridiculous our society is.

Also, i know i don't believe in spiritual forces at work but i do believe in energy as that's all we are so let's use our collective energy to force this cold out of montreal. I can't deal. i'm pondering sepuku or building my own sacrificial alter on the patio out front. For real.

The music today is that i suggest everyone listens to 21 by the mystery jets or anything by the fruit bats.

ps.
Azeda Booth's "In Flesh Tones" is an interesting album as well.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Clean Slate

I can't even properly describe or express the sincere amount of comfort i have been experiencing recently. i understood that i wanted to wipe away what was left of myself and start anew, fresh, but in the same city and within some of the constraints. i have grown and i'm incredibly grateful for the fortunate living situation i find myself in.

it is not nearly as dysfunctional as my stay at d'hibernia. i have decided to wipe that place from my memory and most of the incidents or faces that go along with that no longer register. i am at my first real place and making a strong effort, even if it seems effortless, to be a wonderful and easy roommate. we cook for each other, share groceries, watch documentaries and then make popcorn. it is a godsend and within these walls i look forward to my lavish bed and angled yet softly lighted bedroom. the bed is made every morning, i fold the light green top sheets on top of a duvet and now an old native american crafted woolent blanket to reveal it's deep purple under belly to match the dark wood that has minimistacally framed my bed. the bed side tables act as an extension to it's frame and hold my music that is almost constantly playing when a documentary isn't being streamed. it's so very exciting to live with someone who shares my eating habits and even spiritual, or lack there of, beliefs. this weekend has been a true recharge to a work load and knowing i have such a wonderful place to come back to makes the after parties and outtings even more enjoyable. the stays at distillerie until befriending the bar staff and enjoying speciality drinks made for us as opposed to just being another face and the satisfaction of speaking to everyone within a room that deserves it and finding interesting niches to pick and prod away.

the new josh just needs to finish is body upgrade and it's over.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Tomorrow

Is the day everything from ikea is delivered to my new dwelling space as well as my frantic rush to find a mover to move my mattress from NDG to De Loirmier. Everything has been so hectic of late and i'm consistently tired supremely early at night while the cold supresses my urges.

Anyways, who knew that milla jovovich made music. not me!

i'm so so excited to build furniture, place my lamps, and finally have an adult bedroom complete with a sloped back corner chair with large arms for reading. with that said, since i'll be living next to bridge and hopefully trekking to the local gym on an almost daily basis i should be a bit of an extrovert yet again. i'll finally have room to do my own reading, my own writing, and get a grip on this individual i've become.

i'm looking forward to the summer, just so i can get a bike out and enjoy the parks and have lunch in park lafontaine with a bottle of wine and a novel at my side.

i'll probably be having a small housewarming so look forward to that.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Aa long as we get out alive

I'm becoming elderly. i mean it. My knuckles are sore from that guitar hero phase we all went through and i can barely hold my alcohol. in fact the slightest toxin in my body is often turned into a strange and exciting adventure as it is metabolized and turned into an ill indicator of any part of me.

I'm headed out to drink wine tonight, i haven't been out since last week mainly because i fall asleep early and work hard, or hardly work, during the day but i keep usual hours, not my sadistic days without sleeping before. I've found this responsible side far more fascinating than anything else but it also makes me worry about the turn around our economy is taking. it makes me significantly upset that the Canadian economy relies so heavily on that of our bullying neighbour below who befuddled the whole world up. i wish these arbitrary numbers made sense to me. i lack the knowledge to understand how our economy will be better by 2010 if we continue to lay off thousands of workers who can no longer contribute to a growing and eventually prosperous economy. If someone could explain it to me i'd be more than thankful. I just dont understand how stimulating the economy requires so much money but their still firing people.

I also find it ridiculous that they're building new roadways when these new jobs could be spent building a magrail across the country or better public transport and more workers to plant trees, man recycle and compost trucks, and aid communities to be green as opposed to laying down cement and offering more space to the already disputed air polluters that are our gasoline engines. rehire your workers to build electric cars and sell them. destroy and recycle all the useless vehicles collecting dust and turn them into houses or raw resources. this buy buy buy mentallity is disgusting(and i'm so much a part of it.)

i speak with new individuals everyday who are optimistic about the human race turning around and making proper decisions but i am a pessemist and often reply to their conversations with, "i think we've overstayed are welcome. the earth already shrugs as off occasionally."

they better do something quick...

mp3
i will lay you down by lanters on the lake.
http://www.box.net/shared/mq4fsd0d59

in personal bullshit. i've grown a strange call for closeness. it's vague but something is different.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

There is Too Much

There is too much going on in my life right now. i'm almost always busy or tired from being busy due to work, dinner plans, meetings, lunches, organizing plans, and generally trying my best to be responsible.

This post is going to symbolize some of the ridiculous events in my life simply by using a cartoon that is probably equally ridiculous.

the big news is that i will be living on ontario and de loirmier within the next 10 days if i can just figure out how to move my bed and my friend's van actually fits it. my migraine is killing me, i'll update this again once i have a chance to find new music, movies, and dinner spots very soon.

oh the cartoon is disney, 1943.

Friday, January 2, 2009

sickening

On my way to dinner at Sala Rossa i stumbled upon a young woman in great distress. her face was crimson with the evidence of assault and her shaking body proved that she needed someone, anyone, to be near her. on a busy street in an affluent neighbourhood one doesn't expect to find a girl around their same age thrown into a vehicle for an iphone. i sat with her till an ambulance came and offered to company for ambulance ride, the hospital, and whatever else she needed as i know how frightening it is to be left alone in those kinds of situations. i spoke to the police, the paramedics, and finally itzel over the phone explaining the tragedy of why i would be late for dinner.

I don't understand how such a thing happens and the majority of people just turn a blind eye or move on ahead. the street is always bust at 8pm, always, anyone could have stopped them or should have helped the girl immediatly. This diffusion of responsibility lead to the death of Kitty Genovese and i thought we had all learned a lesson by now. Following this incident i was approached by a young missionary within the metro to "save my soul," or ask me if i had "heard of Jesus Christ." I try and stay out of religious debates because i know many of my friends find strength in their beliefs where as i.. find strength in my disbelief. Anyways, i listened compassionately to his story and his goals in life and complimented him on his ability to hold so much faith and find so much love that he wants to share it. I Then ended that with, "i, unfortunately for you do not believe."
To which he replied inquisitevely and boundary pushingly so with a, "Why's that?"
"Because of thing i just witnessed and the catastrophes that our televised daily. It's personal... have a great holiday"

The night ended with a delicious bottle of moderately priced vino blanco and an assortment of Tapas beore the night was finished.

New years was a complete and utter mess. in the best of ways. i met so many strangers and yet knew many people at the same time to have a homey feeling at a fairly large party, the next day however lead me to believe i was dying as i had not felt that drained in 2 years. i was incapable of standing, walking, breathing, and eating only complicated matters.